i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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