So drunk its hurt
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat