How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
