the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.