I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
27 Common Occurrences Everyone Can Relate To But No One Talks About
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
21 People Intentionally Did Despicable Things During Sex
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
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