I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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