she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
