Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I deserve to be covered in dicks
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
