the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Randomize
