Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
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