I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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