what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
