If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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