I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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