he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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