He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
