I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
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