You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize