let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
NoShamevember. You game?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Randomize
