Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
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