Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
