talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
no, he came in my armpit
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
