so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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