im about as happy as oj after his trial
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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