I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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