I cannot find my penis.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
