probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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