Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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