Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
