he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
