coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Operation Purity has been aborted
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
