my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
