shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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