there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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