good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
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