When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
