Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
