There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
