Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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