get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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