She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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