i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize
