For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize