Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
