Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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