Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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