Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
