Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I wish I only lived at night.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Randomize
