I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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