He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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