Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Randomize
