My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
