I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
