I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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