Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Randomize
