wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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