You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Are we in a gay sports bar?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
