i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
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