So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Randomize
