dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
