Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
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I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
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