i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Bring me that man meat
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.