where does the pee come out of this thing
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I need a beard to bite.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap