Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.