I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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