he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
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