Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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