he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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