I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
