Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Randomize
